Neverland

5.03am, July 18

My drafts have been short, words too few to construct an entry properly. It is July, 2 months and say, 5 days til I turn 23. Not particularly a novelty, age assumes its own responsibilities and eventually this frustrating need to grow up suffocates all options to be free. A madcap adventure (?) awaits me, impulsive as it seems, I believe (1) it is something I need to achieve - before assuming the much coveted profession which has left me unsure what to think of it. It might be an unconscious effort to escape, the undoubted human characteristic innate - a very coward thing to do. The need to glorify as seen in eg. (1) perhaps to retrieve some lost pride/some sort of redeeming excuse including the need to babble about much coveted job.

I tire of my faults. No Peter Pan, in Neverland, I didn't know once I grow up, I can never come back. Was it never? Never ever, ever ever.