broken eyes and black punches

she was already so broken when he met her
how was he going to fix her
how was he going to save her
meltdown and shaken, alternate universes

give me that black punch filled with your poison and love
drink it up drink it up they say
bosom and blossom, fay got drunk
even jokers have their share of dumps.

plot trigger I

why wont you let me in, he asked
i dont want to, she said
why wont you let me in, she asked
i dont want to, she said
then at least let me stay, he requested
then at least let me stay, she pleaded
i'll leave if you stay, she said

what he heard and what he pictured

life is beautiful > running through my head, thoughts of mine & others says:
a little boy looking for something through dark & endless halls with many doors
paper-thin and silk-like traces says:
BEAAAAAAUTIFUL
life is beautiful > running through my head, thoughts of mine & others says:
seems a fitting song for its mood
life is beautiful > running through my head, thoughts of mine & others says:
heh heh heh
life is beautiful > running through my head, thoughts of mine & others says:
mystic with a touch of absence

picturing a boy running on a hill, a red balloon
stumbles upon a ruined castle

phrase two (lyrics)
he's running through those endless halls

copyright to shaoxiang

eat hearts

forgive me for i do not care
i'm willing to break hearts to feel alive

like ballerinas dancing in their little untreated pine boxes
stepping those piano keys

when even tears hate your eyes

drink from the glass which water rejects you as a consumer

drawing out of we have a map of the piano

like a normal day where one comes out from the car
she bumps him on the shoulder
they both go their own ways

phrase two
the city revolves around these two
these two revolve around the city
work eats their minds
prayer does no good

phrase three where the lyrics come in
they meet, their eyes recognize their own dead souls
they give a little bow and a curtsey respectively
they go their own ways

phrase four
it's like playing a puzzle game
word play, an hour glass, hide and seek
time plays with them
they play with time
unintentional
yet so contradicting

phrase five
feels like a merry go round
where you try to give chase but you know it's a cycle and you'll never be able to catch

reconnecting in 2:23

overload of dreams
bang.

close to you

i feel that i dont need anyone anymore
just people who surround and respond to you
that's the basic relationship i need.
if i do need someone close,
then it's not going to be you
for sometimes i feel trapped when i'm with you.

so whistle your thistle

thistle
whistle
whisper
flute

this empty hollow grin

how does it feel to be not wanted?
secretly i'm happy i'm out of this web
it's a empty empty hollow echo feeling
but it seems like it's just what i need

to my vincent valentine

one day you'll be sick and tired of me
because you're the only one giving
would you be leaving as well?

what follie mollie said

follie and mollie sat on a dolly
orange and black
sad sad sad
i want to admit myself into a mental hospital now

huh

is it important to know who i am
and who i should be?
i dont know
what's the reason for this cause anyway.

ah, conclusions

perhaps secretly i am a perfectionist
when it comes to friendship
but i keep disregarding/ignoring/avoiding/forgetting the human mind and its complications
thus i hurt people and in turn people hurt me
the cycle of pain, it seems that i like it alot. i'm quite a sadist.

what i expect of you

i expect you to be broken now
empty now
feeling like you're dying
if you're feeling neither of these symptoms
you must be a stronger person than i am
or perhaps we were never really that close anyway
it's really easy to give up if we were just touch and go friends
hi and bye, gone.
but still, we met
the end.

i'll name my books
1. the infinity series
2. straitjacket dreams
3. what she said

straitjacket means

the first time she got a straitjacket, it was for fetish purposes.
she looked over at valentine and decided it was time for fun.
the straitjacket was for her to stop cutting her fingers, slitting her wrists for random boredom. it was to stop her from feeling so dead and imagine herself to be a mad person for the acknowledgement that she was mad would mean that she knew something about herself. it was to stop herself from feeling so hollow and not even know who the person she was, seeking emptiness/the vacuum out of air itself.

notes in your pencilcases
paper seek, paper slip
laces on your chest
silk down your thigh

in and out, black and white

i know it's abit too old to play games, but i still need someone to play hide and seek with me.

flight awaiting

hey n, it happened just like that too. between me and ford, yes assumptions may have led to conclusions and delusions. but what i feel, how i sense, they all belong to me. clear this up and i'm packing off.

write a story Joyce, write a story out of this

and to avoid disappointment, i try not to anticipate
i try not to hope, not to wish, not to want
not to need, not to crave, not to love
then finally not to live

cause you're everywhere to me

a lizard and a tank of fishes as her audience
she danced the night away alone

fay missed lou dearly
fay would have liked lou to watch her by the side