Mannequin

A mannequin shop sells their toys. Old and new.
Here's the flavor of the month:
vanilla.

ambiguity

it is you - the girl with the bambi eyes, i miss you.

constellation

these ragged lines like bed hair outline your softness
a constellation trace, these dots on your face all the way to hands

this is a blog of selfish reasons. There are youths out there who take the bus past midnight for the rides, a cyclist who cannot find his way; she finds her button nose too big, her face a little old for her age. how crazy, this tea feeds ecstasy, wired in artery.

our world may be a giant hologram
thanks love.

the ideal alice

i'm craving for a slice of yummy cake now.

the ideal alice sips tea and listens to symphonies.
she ties her hair into a bun and accidentally leaves out a lock of hair.
Her hair is testimonial to her life.

Quietly this excitement morphs into hesitation. It would be good to get away for a while (under self-conviction), ease my smothered heart with caffeine and sugar. My perception of life and the world in general has been simple enough - trust, hope and love (often figurative). My heroes are manga characters who believe in these 3 motifs, unwavering and undaunted - as such, there's naruto, orihime and luffy. Reminiscence comes in form of Spirited Away, all that broken remainder pieces of love wrapped and repackaged for the unknown future. A penpal, a stranger; all the coincidences in life.

dust

i collect dust and someday i might just drink water like how we breathe air

atomic

The signing of a contract does not pull me back to earth suddenly, perhaps when training officially starts and the first trip to the airport in uniform will. I have longed to leave this madhouse to its self-destruct antics and was just a signature away from it all along. I cannot and can never save this situation, I do not (want to) give a damn. Despite this, I know I would eventually contradict myself and succumb to it all - Blood is after all, still thicker than water.

I am not saying I do not love its patients, myself included. The most careless, carefree part-fool, part-daydreamer able to escape most of its jailbreaks, leaving the rest to bear the brunt is me. The second and third bait, fourth and fifth sponges. I am sorry I do not know how to take responsibility for the state of the madhouse, because all I do is run away and complain. I love you i love you i love you and you. Sometimes the other two, it depends heavily how quiet the madhouse is.

Still, the thought of these screams ring in my head, sometimes to the point I cannot remember one good memory. I'm sure it's the same for all of you too. I know words in my head I have not said, these repeat in my head in many ways of 'Why', 'What', 'Who', 'How', 'When' and 'Where'. I am suspicious of people who get too close to the madhouse's patients, for even outside the madhouse lies beasts, traps, liars and hypocrites who feed on wounds. If you did understand all I have said, hello to 2oo9.. it might not be the last madhouse blood-riot, I have to get all of you out of here soon. (Where? ...somewhere quiet)

There's no need to understand anything in this situation, take and run.
God forgive me, I am tired too.